Sheenie Ambardar, MD is a Los Angeles-based Integrative Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist with 16+ years of experience in Adult Psychiatry. Dr. Ambardar sees patients throughout California and New York via telehealth and specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of adult men and women with Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, OCD, Panic Disorder, Binge-Eating Disorder, and a host of other common mental health concerns.

Are you experiencing any of these conditions? Concierge Integrative Psychiatry may be the solution you need. At The Happiness Psychiatrist®, we address the root causes of these issues—and many more—as well as give you the resources to build a fuller, happier life.

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There are moments in life when everything feels...well, stuck.

Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson called this the Generativity vs Stagnation stage—a time when we start reflecting on the legacy we’re creating.

If you’re feeling disconnected, lacking purpose, or stuck in a career that's become monotonous, you might be experiencing Stagnation.

Generativity, on the other hand, is all about focusing on nurturing, guiding, and contributing to something bigger than yourself, whether that’s future generations or meaningful, creative projects. It’s about leaving a lasting impact.

Many of my patients and coaching clients are navigating these exact transitions and asking:

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“What if I’m in the Stagnation phase? Does that mean I’ve failed?”

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Absolutely not! Recognizing these feelings is the first step toward something greater...

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RELATED: My Favorite Resources for a Happier Life

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The Generativity vs Stagnation Crisis: Struggles for 30-65⁺ Year Olds

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They say your 20s are the best years of your life.

So if you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and up, it’s easy to wonder if the best years of your life are behind you.

But what if they aren’t?

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Your 20s 👗

Dr. Meg Jay, psychologist and author of The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now, explains that your 20s are more about defining yourself, not finding yourself.

During this transformative period, you may be grappling with questions such as:

• Who are my real friends?

• What will my career be?

• Who should I marry?

It's a time of defining core values and belief systems. 

However, with that often comes higher levels of anxiety and depression. A 2019 study found that the highest percentage of adults experiencing symptoms of depression was among those aged 18–29 (21.0%).

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Your 30s and Beyond 🧤

When you hit your 30s, you may have a better grasp of who you are and what you want. 

This stage is about finding out if you’re making a meaningful contribution to society and possibly leaving a legacy.

You might ask yourself questions such as:

• Am I contributing to society?

• Do I want to have children?

• What will my legacy be?

When those questions go unanswered, it’s easy to feel disconnected and unmotivated, leading to that “stuck” feeling. 

Dr. Erikson’s Generativity vs. Stagnation stage captures this feeling of "stuckness."

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RELATED: How to Treat OCD Through Integrative Psychiatry

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‍What is Stagnation?

The easiest way to understand Generativity vs Stagnation is to think of it as Creativity vs Boredom. 

Stagnation feels like being trapped in the same old monotonous routine. You might be bored with life. You may feel like you’re just going through the motions or that your best years are behind you.

And while feeling bored might not feel serious, boredom and stagnation can, unfortunately, eventually lead to depression and anxiety.

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Examples of Stagnation:

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• Daily routines that leave you feeling like you’re living the same day over and over again

• Finding work tedious (“same stuff, different day”)

• Feelings of “dullness” from hobbies you once used to enjoy

• Staying at a job you dislike out of fear or obligation

• Isolation from family, friends, or community

• Half-hearted feelings of satisfaction in relationships

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As a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, I’ve seen adults as young as 20-30 experiencing bouts of boredom and stagnation in their lives. Stagnation, though, typically impacts adults ages 40-65⁺.

Stagnation can lead to various distressing issues, such as empty nest syndrome or a midlife crisis, and creates a feeling that nothing you do will ever make a difference in your mood.

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What is Generativity?

Generativity is the antidote to stagnation.  It’s about rediscovering your innate creativity and, in a way, feeling like a kid again.

The best way to do this is to tap into unexplored territories. Find any subject, interest, or hobby that sparks your curiosity. 

Curiosity is a precious, child-like quality that we all possess. Remember the excitement you felt when you tried riding a bike for the first time or discovered a new book series? That same unfiltered enthusiasm comes when you explore something challenging or unfamiliar as an adult.

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Examples of Generativity: 

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• Mentoring interns or students in your field

• Launching a creative project, such as a blog or a balcony rose garden 🌹

• Visiting a new, unfamiliar country as an adventure

• Investing in a program, coach, or course to learn new skills

• Hosting monthly dinner nights with friends and family

• Getting a cat, dog, bird, or any other type of pet 🐱

• Organizing or participating in local charity drives or neighborhood clean-ups

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Here’s the catch: You can have a lot of hobbies and still feel bored. You can have children and still feel unhappy and like you aren’t leaving behind a legacy.

Of course, these are just a few examples, and your situation may be completely different. I’m always here to help if you’d like further guidance.

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RELATED: Healing Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

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‍From Stagnation to Generativity ➡️ 4 Creative Examples

You won’t be stuck forever. Start by analyzing your current situation and ask yourself what is really true. 

Create a list of three things you pretend are true — but deep down, you know aren’t.

For example:

1.  "This is a great job that many people would love to have; I like it and I’m making great money" —  but deep down, you know it's zapping the life out of you.

2. “I’m happy in this relationship; my partner is good for me and I’m ready to get married” — but deep down, you know that this isn't really what you want.

3.  "I’m just too old to start something new" — but you can’t imagine staying in your current situation for the next 15+ years.

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Recognizing the signs of stagnation in your life is the first step toward making meaningful changes. 🌸

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Let’s explore different example scenarios of stagnation (boredom) and look for natural ways to increase generativity (creativity):

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1. Empty Nest Syndrome 🪺

When your youngest leaves home, the house can feel eerily quiet. The routines of driving your kids to soccer practice, making sure homework gets done, and going to dance recitals are long gone. 

This often leaves a sense of emptiness that can be hard to fill. Without new activities or a purpose, it’s easy to slip into stagnation and find yourself aimlessly watching TV or scrolling through social media.

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Generativity Fix: Be a kid again! Start exploring a new interest to see if it holds your attention. Watch YouTube videos on how to create textured art. Join a local tennis club to improve your tennis game or take online writing classes.

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If your kids live far away, perhaps you can find an activity you’re all interested in so that you can get together virtually once a month to do it together. 

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2. Career Regret  

The excitement of your work has long since faded and you’re haunted by regrets and fears of making the next wrong move. 

Sure, you may be great at your job—some might even say perfect—but it feels more like a golden handcuffs situation than something that makes you happy.

This creates a tricky codependency: you’re so reliant on your job for financial stability and self-worth, but you feel trapped in a rut that is deeply unfulfilling.

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Generativity Fix: Annual vacations and weekend getaways can’t be your only source of escape from this stagnation. Consider hiring a life or career coach to help you explore your options, uplevel your mindset, and strategize a transition.

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You could also try taking online courses to learn about something you’re passionate about, whether it’s digital marketing, history, or creative nonfiction. YouTube is always free or you could try Skillshare, Coursera, Masterclass, or Stanford’s online Continuing Studies classes.

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3. Distant Relationship with Your Adult Children

You might hesitate to call your adult child. Conversations that used to flow effortlessly now feel strained. You can feel the distance growing between you. 

This lack of regular interaction may leave you feeling disconnected, sad, and unsure of how to bridge the gap. You don’t want to come off as intrusive or pushy but you miss your child.

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Generativity Fix: It’s natural to feel anxious about making the first move and trying to rebuild trust. You may fear rejection or worry about overstepping boundaries. Consider family or individual therapy to learn how you might have played a part in your current relationship dynamic. Displaying a willingness to work on yourself can go a long way in showing your adult child that you're serious about mending the relationship.

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If you’re already on good speaking terms, take the initiative and plan visits or activities to do together. But ultimately, it’s important to respect your adult child’s space. Be patient and flexible by allowing them to respond to your overtures in their own time.

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4. Poor Health in Older Age

It may feel like you have a new health issue every month. If it’s not a cracking knee, it’s an aching lower back or stomach issues. 

Society tells us that life gets worse as we get older — especially when it comes to our health. 

But again, it doesn’t have to be this way. Research even suggests that some individuals report feeling up to 20% younger than their chronological age.

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Generativity Fix: You’re likely stronger and healthier than you think. Consider visiting a functional medicine MD, a longevity/anti-aging physician, or a bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) specialist to get a full work-up. These experts can give you personalized recommendations for advanced functional lab testing and supplements that are tailored to your unique needs. Or consider taking up a new, low-impact activity (golf is always a good option!). 

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RELATED: GLP-1 Therapy: Treatment for Binge-Eating Disorder

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In summary, our mental health impacts all areas of our life - how we feel, think, look, and behave. If you’re facing stagnation struggles or need guidance through this phase, I’m here to help. 

At The Happiness Psychiatrist®, we offer a holistic approach that includes psychotherapy and medication, as well as integrative approaches such as advanced functional lab testing, high-quality nutraceuticals, meditation, and yoga. 

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Reach out today and let’s work together to help make you happy again! 🌼

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‍You Deserve To Feel Happier

Ready to begin your own therapeutic journey out of stagnation and towards generativity and happiness? Contact The Happiness Psychiatrist® today and discover how award-winning concierge psychiatrist Dr. Sheenie Ambardar can help put you on the path to your best, happiest self.

Want to learn more about integrative concierge psychiatry? Read these pieces next from The Happiness Psychiatrist® blog:

1. What to Expect from a Concierge Psychiatrist: A Guide to Personalized Mental Health Care
2. The Advantages of Seeing an Online Psychiatrist
3. What is Psychodynamic Therapy?
4. Carl Jung’s Contribution to Psychology: Jung and Hinduism

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