If you’ve ever scanned through a list of common ADHD symptoms, you've probably quickly discerned that ADHD can significantly impact relationships. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder has a tendency to create scenarios that can potentially cause misunderstandings and interpersonal frustration. Someone with ADHD might often be characterized as easily distracted, overly sensitive, forgetful, impulsive, and disorganized.

The people in the lives of those with ADHD may view all of this as disruptive and frustrating. The non-ADHD partner often feels annoyed and neglected. To the partner with ADHD, it may feel like they’re constantly being judged and nagged. However, with a firm commitment — and a proper diagnosis — the challenges of ADHD can be navigated in a healthy, productive manner.

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A Little Bit About ADHD:

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ADHD is definitely not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis. This neurological disorder can manifest in three different ways:

• Inattentive Type
• Hyperactive-Impulsive Type
• Combined Type (a combination of the above two types)

The most common signs and symptoms for all three variations include:

• Forgetfulness
• Rapid speech that involves interrupting others and going on tangents
• Daydreaming
• An inability to focus on one task
• Becoming easily distracted
• Misplacing and losing items
• Low tolerance for stress, which can lead to angry outbursts

To the non-ADHD partner, all of the above can look like the other person is being careless and not even trying to pay attention. The ADHD partner, for their part, seems detached and almost indifferent, failing to follow through on responsibilities. Needless to say, if left unchecked, this dynamic can wreak havoc on a relationship.

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Tips for Building and Maintaining Relationships When ADHD is Present:

The scenario described above can weaken trust between partners — especially if one of them has undiagnosed ADHD. If the above list of symptoms sounds far too familiar, it’s crucial to ask for help before assigning blame and malicious intent.

Even though ADHD is a challenge, you can feel some relief if an accurate diagnosis is made. It removes any need for taking things too personally and allows both partners to focus on improving the situation through steps like:

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1. Healthy Communication 🦓

Assumptions are rarely a good idea. If your partner has ADHD, assumptions are poison. Replace that mindset with steady, honest, respectful, and face-to-face communication.

In fact, if you’re at a point where ADHD is suspected but not diagnosed, healthy communication will guide you through those preliminary discussions.

More suggestions:

• Get comfortable being more vulnerable when it comes to talking about emotions
• Avoid “you” statements as they create a cycle of blame and recrimination
• Refine your listening skills
• Talk about the customary reactions of both partners and how that makes you feel

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2. Avoid the Parent-Child Dynamic 🫃🏻

At times, a person with ADHD can seem like an incorrigible child. They eschew responsibilities as they slip into daydreaming. If you point this out, you might face a tantrum of sorts.

It’s no surprise then that the non-ADHD partner can often assume a parent-like role. They scold, punish, and express exhaustion at having to repeat themselves over and over. As with actual parent-child dynamics, resentment can build — leading to passive-aggressive behaviors all around.

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3. Anger Management 😡

Anyone with ADHD can attest to feelings of pronounced frustration with others as well as with themselves. This can breed anger that is eventually released at inopportune times. Couples may fight over trivial and mundane issues as a way of avoiding the underlying root causes. Conflict unfortunately becomes the norm as productive communication decreases.

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The Time to Take Action is Right Now ✅

It bears repeating that an experienced ADHD psychiatrist can provide you with the clarity that you seek about ADHD. They can assess the partner in question and let you know if a diagnosis is appropriate.

From there, medication management, integrative psychiatry, psychotherapy, and ADHD skills training are all proven methods of managing the very real impact of ADHD. Regular appointments offer a safe space in which to air out needs, fears, dreams, and concerns.

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Dr. Ambardar welcomes you to reach out today if you think you or your partner may have ADHD 🌼

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Begin Your Wellness Journey Today With an Award-Winning ADHD Psychiatrist

Have you been struggling with ADHD symptoms? Contact The Happiness Psychiatrist® today and discover how integrative ADHD psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr. Sheenie Ambardar can help you unlock your best, most focused self through expert care, including:

• Holistic Psychotherapy
• Integrative Psychiatry
• Personal Coaching

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